Rufus: Just Saying: ##$$%%^Cellphone AKA Satan

Rufus: Just Saying: ##$$%%^Cellphone AKA Satan
16 June 2015

MomPeople is all fired up. She’s having a war with DadPeople’s cellphone. Which she now calls Satan. She was screaming at it this morning. MomPeople needs to go for a walk like we did on Sunday. Very peaceful with lots of good smells.  

MomPeople’s war with the #$%$%^%^ Cellphone started when MomPeople said they had to take the #$%%^$ cellphone to the phone store because the battery wouldn’t hold a charge.  If the battery died, they might miss a call from the contractor who is going to get rid of the black/anaconda toilet? I know about the toilet thing, but this battery stuff is a mystery. I wasn’t real worried since there wasn’t any mention of the phone eating my treats.

Except going to the phone store meant DadPeople and MomPeople left the house, and all I had to do was watch ESPN. I missed hours of being Outside with DadPeople and taking care of my chipmunk tracking. 

When they got home they did what the phone lady said. And then that night, about 1:30 AM (or as MomPeople said, “O-freaking-#%$%$^^%- dark hundred”)  the phone started buzzing.  Not like this bee. Which you have to be careful of when you get nose close, because they can get mad and sting.  

The #$$%^% phone  buzzed and vibrated. DadPeople slept through it, but MomPeople got up and mashed at the $#$%%^ phone screen, pressed buttons, then gave up and closed it up in a room where no one could hear it. 

It was still buzzing when DadPeople and I woke up. So I missed another morning of chipmunk tracking while Mom and DadPeople went back to the Phone Store for more help with the $%%$^% phone, rhymes with Wamwung. 

When they got home, the $#%%$^%$ phone seemed to be okay until later in the afternoon. Then it started buzzing again. All of a sudden, while it was in DadPeople’s back pocket. When it does that, there’s supposed to be another People who wants to talk to DadPeople, and he holds the phone up to his face. But there wasn’t, and it wouldn’t quit buzzing. 

MomPeople said at least the $%#%$^%^ phone was buzzing instead of ringing, which was  because Satan-phone once again decided on its own to turn off the ringer.

This morning it started burping, which seems to be the same as ringing. Again, no one wanted to talk to DadPeople, and the #$%$%%$^ phone now known as Satan by MomPeople, wouldn’t shut up. It got quiet again, and now it’s making a sound like hiccups!! MomPeople may be right about the Satan thing. 

I’m worried about MomPeople. She needs to take a deep breath and think of the rolling pastures and pretty chicory flowers we saw out at White Hall.  (And pay no attention to the bee in the photo, even if they buzz like the Satan phone.)  


[All photos used in are the sole property of Kath Marsh. Not to be reprinted.] 


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