According to my Fortune Cookie and Painted Lady

According to my Fortune Cookie and Painted Lady
10 May 2013

Today The Prince Consort and I drove to the mall to shop for Mother’s Day. The circle had come around, and it was time to go back to wearing makeup. The department store sales lady asked what I wanted the make up to do. I blanked. 

Do? Cover my face and make me look princess beautiful, of course. But I couldn’t spit that out before she asked if I wanted makeup for covering wrinkles, brown spots, evening out color. I just nodded and made a check mark in the air, “All of the above.” I was depressed. Clearly she’d pegged me as an old crone with a LOT of problems. Beautiful princess was never mentioned. 


The Prince Consort wandered off, but came back in time to vote for the color of base the saleslady liked, and I did not. When I told him, “Wrong answer.” He panicked. But since there was only florescent lighting to judge whether I looked more like Posso than Abdon (see Pansy Pants & the Search for Magic) , I had to depend on the majority vote. 

I also needed blush that didn’t make me look like a clown. (refer to yesterday’s blog on my terror of seeing that nightmare clown in the bathroom mirror.) To nail down the right color, the saleslady asked what lipstick color I used. Again, I blanked. Is Chapstick a color? 

She offered to retrieve several colors from their Chubbie line. And TPC lost it. He couldn’t stop laughing at the terribly unfortunate name for a lipstick. For someone like me who has fought weight every day of her adult life, Chubbie is not a line of anything I want on my lips. 

I got the last laugh. TPC paid for the makeup: mascara that will make my apparently sparse lashes full and curly, blush to match the Chubbie lipstick, and a special trowel, I mean brush, to apply the make up. 

Then TPC offered lunch at our favorite Chinese restaurant. I had the best chicken noodle soup in the world, with lots to take home. But the highlight of the meal came with the fortune cookies. I like the taste of fortune cookies, but I’ve never gotten a fortune that meant much. Until today. 

My fortune said: You are a lover of words. Someday you should write a book.

That’s me!!! I wrote a book!! I’ve written 8 or 9 manuscripts. I’d get the exact count, but it‘s been raining all day, and my face got wet. I have to repaint the painted lady.  

OH!!! If anyone out there is as computer-challenged as I am, if you can’t get the CBAY Books sample books to download, you need to load one of the free computer programs out there for downloading ebooks. (I learned this after winning a Sony Reader during my county library’s summer reading program.) 

For MOBI files you can download the free program you need from Mobipocket
You can also read MOBI files using the free Kindle reader that is offered on Amazon, both for Mac and PC.  Amazon Kindle 
 I also use Adobe Reader, which is available for both Mac and PC. 
 Kath:Pansy Pants tid bit: Every character I write about has a name that is meaningful to me. Chester the dragon was originally Clarence. He was named for my father who was the bravest, smartest, kindest, gentlest, funniest, most honorable. Chester is the best of any of us, as was my dad. 


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