Professional Procrastinating and Time Wasting 10. Forget 101, this graduate level stuff.

Professional Procrastinating and Time Wasting 101.
Forget 101, this graduate level stuff.
17 December 2012

I should be writing. Or wrapping presents. Or eating the Christmas chocolate before it goes bad. But I am a Professional Procrastinator. This of course entails a certain amount of concentration on finding extraneous projects. And a fair amount of time wasting. 

Sometimes finding those projects is less about Procrastinating expertise and more about dumb luck. Like yesterday. The Prince Consort and I got this great idea. Let’s buy a lake house so he can fish lots more, and I can be inspired to write wonderful stories. 

Which of course means NOT staying home and writing, but instead spending eleven hours driving around lakes in southern KY looking for the perfect lake and possible houses, some even in our price range. 

Of course, theoretically it should not have taken eleven hours to run yesterday’s hunt for the prospects TPC found online. But it was ALL the #%$%%^ GPS’s fault! Brumhilda (my none too fond nickname for the miserable witch GPS who I swear exists to get us lost) sent us to an impressive number of driveways of unsuspecting people who do NOT live on a lake. 

Fed up with Brumhilda, I decided to ask my iphone/Siri how to get OUT of the cow pasture and back somewhere near a lake. And of course I wasted five minutes arguing with my phone. It ended unnervingly enough when both the phone and I said at almost the same time, “I don’t get it.” I’m dead certain Siri was mocking me, since she had already pretended five times she couldn’t understand where I wanted to go. 

It turned out that it didn’t matter. All on our own, we stumbled on a lake and a lovely cabin. There was only one flaw. NO WATER IN THE #%%^$^% LAKE!!!!  Look at this photo. Beyond the decks is nothing but a mud flat and a shallow ribbon of water running through it. THIS is a lake?  

So fine. Time out to find another Procrastinator Project. The neighborhood Audubon bird counters showed up in front of our house. They wanted to know if we’d seen any turkeys. Define any? 

I could send photos to the committee. I think this qualifies as Procrastinator time well spent. Do they want to see the eight jakes who were clearly violating the ‘foursomes only’ rule on the golf course today? Well, the turkeys did have two foursomes. 

Or does the committee want to see those Two Foursomes when they showed up a couple of hours later at the 19th Hole (AKA my front yard) for snacks? (Turkeys are slow golfers? Or did they just lose all their balls? ;) 

WAIT!!! I found my new best way to procrastinate, suck up an overdose of chocolate, and get pretty all in one fell swoop. Of course this may be too efficient for a PhD in Procrastinating like myself. 

One of my online deal emails sent an offer for a Chocolate Body Wrap!!! I sure hope they sent good directions to get to the wrap shop. I’d hate to have to take names and kick GPS ...

Kath who in honor of procrastinators everywhere, has slowed down her DeFluffing to 1.5 pounds in the last three weeks, 25.5 pounds lost in all. 


  1. At least you find interesting ways to procrastinate! I just seem to fritter the time away. :-D

  2. If you buy the "lake" house pictured, you would lose 5 lbs everytime you left the house going down and back up. Those stairs look killer, and not "beast" as my grandson would say. I've learned that "beast" is good BTW.

  3. Ooh , ooh. Fritter! Love that word. Maybe we should just declare a once a week Fritter Day.

  4. Oh, Connie. No worry about buying the lake house in the photo, although that's an excellent point about the DeFluffing potential of that many stairs. This house Was Not in our price range even with a dry lake and not one other house in the development having been built.

  5. I was was going to say something wise about procrastination and decided to wait till a better time...

  6. Could you just buy the beast staircase? While you are procrastinating, it will surely rain and you'll have a great view.

  7. LoL, Joan. You're onto something there!


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