How to Prevent Snow, Dry Clothes, and Get Sweaty Hands

How to Prevent Snow, Dry Clothes, and Get Sweaty Hands. 
15 December 2011
It’s a rule. If you take an umbrella with you, it will not rain. Unless you’re me, and it rains like you should be hot-footing it back to the Ark. Your umbrella is a gazillion years old, and when you open it the only thing between you and being totally soaked is the handle. The cloth is in tatters. Clearly the work of mice or evil umbrella elves. 
Just because that theory doesn’t prove out for me, doesn’t mean I give up on preventive tactics. So I ordered snow boots and a treadmill. The snow boots are in the boot tray, unused. Because ... no snow. So far. Knock on wood. It’s working. 
The treadmill was ordered to take the place of walking outside on icy dangerous days,
to prevent me from becoming one with the ice, face down in the street. There is always a flaw in my theories. While it hasn’t really snowed, and I can walk safely outside, I’d forgotten the true use for treadmills. 
Treadmills are awesome clothes drying racks. I figure at least eight turtlenecks will eventually fit on those arms. The flaw here is that to get drying time, apparently you have to get on the thing and walk!!! Earn drying time which ‘Walkies’, our new treadmill. totals up in the ‘time walked’ display. 
I swear I’ve walked enough to dry every stitch of clothing we own. But Walkies-the-Evil does not keep a running total. I have to start over every morning. I’m not sure I’m going to ever get enough time. After a half hour of 3.5mph my hands are sweating so hard, I can’t keep a grip on the machine’s arms. Which at least keeps the pulse monitor from screaming in alarm. 

Walkies dressed out for Christmas in the minivan’s reindeer outfit. 

Kath, exhausted and revisiting her theories. 


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