My Cats on Facebook?

My Cats on Facebook?
15 July 2011
So I see this article saying one in ten pets is on Facebook. I’m not on Facebook. I have two cats. Does that mean I have a 40% chance my cats are blabbing on Facebook? 
I don’t know enough about Facebook, but my imagination is in high gear on this one. I’m now very suspicious of what the cats are doing all night. They aren’t hunting mice, I know that from the arrogant little rodent who . . .never mind. 
I just know it. The cats are using the ipad The Prince Consort leaves charging by the couch. 
Come on. They’re way too tired all day. Napping up a storm even while I run the vacuum cleaner or sing along to Golden Before-Fire-Was-Invented Oldies. They’ve worn themselves out tapping out stuff into the ether. 
Probably SamCat is the actual typer. He’s elderly and his paws are slender. Nikki Cat has big paws. Yep. SamCat’s the Mastermind. After all he’s the one cat who figured out how to work the ‘tap on’ bedside lamp. And he’s the one who waited until TPC was away on business leaving me home alone. Middle of the night, the bedside lamp goes on. I shoot of bed, and SamCat sits by the bed staring at me. He never flinched, didn’t bother to run like the other cats. 
So what are they typing? Are they gossiping about life in our house? Giving out their evaluation of how or whether I’m doing my cat care duties. Probably running a poll asking other cats how well their servants perform. 
Or are SamCat and Nikki Cat doing online commentary on the cat stuff catalog that showed up for no apparent reason? They could be nominating a variety of the model cats for a centerfold. Maybe taking votes to forward to the catalog publisher. Or more likely, given my cats’ general attitude about the four hundred cat toys I’ve bought them, they’re suggesting where to put the special of the week - Bag o’ Pink Stuffed Mice? 
Videos! Are videos posted on Facebook? Have my cats figured out my new pocket camera? Did they take a video of me snoring loud enough to loosen roof tiles? Can I Google that? 
Wait. If they’ve mastered Facebook, is ordering online with my unguarded credit card next? Or am I too late on that one too? 
(Remember. It’s not paranoia if you can prove you didn’t order 500 pounds of organic catnip.) 


  1. Oh, I'm sure they are doing that. Do watch the credit card. My Titi was afraid of thunderstorms One summer in Washington we had a 5 p.m. thunderstorm every day. She began venturing out from beneath the bed during storms, looking very nervous and afraid. I think she had been attending "Facing Your Fear" classes while i was at work.

  2. I'm betting you're right about Titi! If only I could get my cats to go to a Suzy Orman seminar, i'd feel safer about the credit cards.

  3. The mind boggles at what Eddie and Miss Susie Hutchins may have already posted...


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