BeepBop and Tweet

BeepBop and Tweet
28 January 2011

BeepBop and Tweet arrived yesterday, the new washer, BeepBop, and dryer, Tweet. BeepBop is not only a high efficiency washer guaranteed to use 50% less water, (take that water bills) but she sings a snappy little ditty when she finishes a load of washing. Pretty proud of herself. Although to be fair, her predecessor danced. The old washer was such an enthusiastic dancer only the fact that the dryer threw itself in her path kept her from polka-ing out of the laundry room and up the driveway.

The new dryer is only a bit more sedate than BeepBop. Tweet whistles brightly to say, “All Done.” The old dryer buzzed,  “Done. Done. Come get the clothes and let me rest up.” But what with all the pre-drying time he spent blocking the washer-dance, and then doing his thing, no wonder he was tired. Which probably accounts for why the old dryer only worked on one timed cycle. That was all the effort he had left.

It only took me a year to decide on BeepBop and Tweet. Used to be the job of picking a new washer and dryer came down to how big. Now. Well, a year of obsessing, and eight hours researching online time later, I dug out the business card for the nice guy at Home Depot.

The Prince Consort escorted me for back up and credit card signing. There’s a reason we’ve been married 150 years. It’s because The Prince Consort knows when to sit at the appliance department desk and let me loose.

So BeepBop and Tweet were installed, in between snow storms. The installer ran over the directions, and then he got to the good part. BeepBop and Tweet are not only musical, but they can talk on the phone!  Presumably for diagnostics, but I say, Think outside the box.

And it took me seconds to hatch my outside the box plan. I hate phone calls. I hate phoning in general, and solicitation calls beyond reason. Particularly robo-dinner-time phone calls.The ones where the computer pretends it doesn’t know you signed up on the permanent Do NOT Call list a decade ago and never changed your mind.

So here’s what’s going to happen. The next robo-caller gets to talk to BeepBop. I’ll haul the phone down to the laundry room and hold the phone up to BeepBop. Let her handle the pests.

Wait. What if BeepBop gets irritated? What if, after the umpteenth robo-call, she starts swearing instead of singing? What if she starts growling like me?



  1. A well known (now) writer won a major award for one of her early novels. She was asked, "Where were you when you got 'the call'?" Her response: "In the laundry room."

    Obviously, it's a place of great inspiration!

  2. Lol, Joan. I'll be very careful about who BeepBop talks to, in case an editor calls instead of a robo-call.

    Vicki, do you think BeepBop can cook? I'll have to ask.

  3. I hate appliances that talk. My mother's microwave, washer, dryer, and oven timer all scream, buzz, etc. until you go attend to them. I REFUSE to be ordered around by a machine, so I let them scream, buzz, etc. It makes everybody else in the house mad a me, but I'm not the one screaming, buzzing, etc.


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