Thursday, August 21, 2014

Dumb Bunny Hop

Dumb Bunny Hop
21 August 2014 

The Sheriff's car has been moved! 

To an even Dumber Bunnier location. Yesterday the still vacant sheriff’s car made its way to a slightly hidden location ( as The Prince Consort pointed out) to within a few yards of the sole speed bump and speed bump warning sign in the subdivision. Since drivers already slow for the speed bump, this is also the only stretch of our roads guaranteed to NOT be part of the speeding problem. Uh HUH. Good idea! 


Naturally I have a new suggestion for a sign to place on its windshield since the car has hopped deeper into our subdivision and farther away from the sheriff’s office: 
“HELP! I’m lost. Call the police!” 

If it’s not going anywhere, couldn’t they at least hang a sheriff’s ‘hat’ on the headrest? Or wait, we could make a seasonal scarecrow to sit in the empty driver’s seat. A bunny for Easter. A santa for Christmas. Uncle Sam for July Fourth. 

As we drove up to the new location (doing the speed limit) on our way to walk Rufus at the pond, I suggested we pull over and get a souvenir photo of the Sheriff’s car and our Foxhound. The Prince Consort had a much better suggestion:

First we need to get a life-sized sheriff photo mounted on sturdy cardboard with a circle cut out where the face would be. Then anyone in the neighborhood can stand beside the sheriff’s car, stick their face through the photo’s face cut-out, and have their photo taken as a ‘sheriff’. Even our Rufus. 

After his muddy run out at the pond, Rufus washes up for his sheriff car photo. 

 (No. TPC would not slow down and let me get the photo. Sigh) 


Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Dumb Bunny Idea

Dumb Bunny Idea 
20 August 2014
This is a Dumb Bunny Idea at its finest. 
Some residents of my subdivision complained to the county sheriff about speeders. His solution: park an unoccupied county sheriff’s car on the hill at the front of the subdivision. 
Seriously. It took me one long look to establish that the car was empty. And predictably after ten days it hasn’t slowed down a single resident.  


I have my own Exceptional Not Dumb Bunny idea to get it moved:
1) Lost and Found posting in the local paper and online: 

“Found: one county sheriff’s car. Excellent condition. Appeared about ten days ago parked on this hill at the entrance to our subdivision. If not claimed soon, will be put up for sale to the highest bidder.” 

2) Put a For Sale sign on the car’s windshield. It is common in this part of the country to park a car on vacant land and put a for sale sign on it. Question: should the For Sale sign’s phone number be the county sheriff’s or since the car’s been abandoned, should the subdivision get the proceeds of the sale? 

3) Make sure the Dumb Bunny who came up with this idea does not get re-elected. And bill him for the extra mowing around this obstacle.  

Frankly if our subdivision is going to allow cars to be left on the hill at our  entrance, I’d like this one to show up for sale. 

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Random Snarks

Random Snarks
14 August 2014

We were shopping for a supply of cheap frisbees (Rufus, our American Foxhound, has about finished his present frisbee. Apparently they are delicious.) when I spotted this little item for sale. All that was missing was:

At the beginning of the week, we were at our favorite county park and found these formulas with the outline of a body left over from a weekend birthday party in the pavilion. Question: is this evidence that the young party guests elaborately planned/ or are planning a murder and left behind a chalk outline of the body? 
Or:  is there a budding Dr. Frankenstein in the area? The plans are made but there is a little left over to fill in on that Frankenstein’s monster, huh? 


I grew up being told it was disrespectful to use the ‘abbreviation’ Xmas for Christmas. I should have known better. After all, I learned the Greek alphabet earlier in my college career than I learned anything else. (The threat of a snarky sorority sister wanting the Greek alphabet recited FAST is much more frightening than a disappointed professor.)  But today in the “Garner’s Usage Tip of the Day” here was the truth, simple and logical. 

This abbreviation for Christmas is popular in advertising. The prejudice against it is unfounded and unfortunate. 

The X is not a Roman X but a Greek chi -- the first letter in "Christ" (Gk. "Christos"). “ 

Well, knowledge is the light of life, but the mysteries around us are the pleasures. 

Kath : alpha, beta, gamma, delta …

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Almost in the Dog House

Almost In the Dog House
7 August 2014

Ten months ago Rufus was an abandoned hound who found us when we arrived one morning to walk at White Hall Pond. We became a Forever Family on the spot. Love at first sight. Just as it was Love at First Sight when The Prince Consort and I met in college. Not that I believed in such a thing at the time, but it’s struck three times now. The Prince Consort, Professor Daughter at her birth, and now Rufus. 

Rufus came into our family having never lived inside with humans. He didn’t know all the protocols (pooping on the dining room rug  and peeing on anything that stood still were not on the Good Boy list.) he had no clue what to do with toys, “sit, stay, and come” were in a foreign tongue, and “cookies” were a revelation. Ten months later, he’s quite the spoiled Forever Hound. 

After his play yard was built, The Prince Consort would not rest until Rufus had his own custom dog house. So TPC got plans off the internet and built one. A dog house is also a first for Rufus. He will go in, but only if a cookie has been thrown to the back inside. And of course he’ll bring the cookie back out to eat. We’ll work on this. 

Of course TPC’s little prince is not going to live outside in his house in his yard. The Yard and House are for leaving Rufus ‘OWT’ when we are busy outside, or need to leave the house for more than a couple of hours. No, he’s not spoiled. 

Just as years ago TPC turned our first house’s gravel front yard into a Japanese garden, he’s made a very special abode for The Rufus.  

I looked away for three seconds and Rufus was wearing the white paint on his back.  

Checking for cookies.

Almost finished.

TA DA!! Just waiting for the name plate: RUFUS! 
Kath: who could use a little cottage like this for an office? 

Saturday, July 26, 2014

No Amount of Duct Tape

No Amount of Duct Tape 
26 July 2014

We finally had Rufus Hound’s play yard built. No amount of duct tape and our limited DIY skills would have sufficed. So we got professional help. 

Here is the backyard. The old latticework was a DIY project The Prince Charming and I did a few years back. It was ready to be replaced.
The lumber had been delivered, and Rufus Hound and Mr. Hosenose Rainbarrel were ready for the new play yard.

TPC and I painted and stained the fence lumber and the new latticework. 

A few days later the crew arrived and set the fence poles. Rufus took a break from barking at the crew, from inside the house, to inspect with TPC. 

In a few days the fence and lattice work were done. All that remained was painting and wrapping the gate in wire. Rufus and TPC took on the challenge.  

Things would have gone a little quicker had Rufus not taken a shine to the wire clippers and made off with them. 

The Rufus Yard is done. Mr. Hosenose Rainbarrel is happy with the spiffy new latticework, and getting back the short piece of hose that Rufus had appropriated for a chew toy during construction. 

Kath: who would like Samsung to know that no amount of duct tape will ever make me buy another Samsung product, of any kind. 35 days dragged by as I called and begged Samsung with no results until I finally got tough and said this was not good enough. Then they finally sent the needed refrigerator part to the local Samsung repair techs. That’s NOT Customer Service.  

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Duct Tape III: Traveling Well

Duct Tape III: Traveling Well 
3 July 2014

Annette, a Navy wife of a retired surgeon, told me about a very moving use of duct tape. She included it in care packages sent to our troops overseas. 

Annette wrote:
“They do make a red kind of duct tape at Christmas time; it might not be plaid but does have little green trees on it. I send the fashion duct tape in care packages every year, and I have heard over and over in the thank you’s from our guys and gals deployed that the duct tape was the best gift!  A few M 'n M's from home or anything chocolate helps too.”

But duct tape doesn’t just travel well overseas. It’s been a tool for my friend Han Nolan (author of books so good Mark Twain would invite her to dinner. That’s my highest compliment and fondest aspiration.) 

After seeing my fashionable gardening boots, Han wrote me:
“I use duct tape on top of my running shoes in the winter to keep my feet warm.  Works like a charm!  Duct tape is Da Bomb!”

Han runs marathons. I am in awe of her for that too. I power walk, but my toes get cold in the snow. Don’t tell my duct taped garden boots, but I can’t really get a good walking  rhythm in boots. I had to know more. Han sent me to a photo of her duct taped running shoes/ outfit.

Han said, 
“That's the one.  I was wearing this fetching outfit when I ran past the college and heard this girl laughing at me.  I wondered why and then I looked down at myself and howled.  I did look a sight.  My daughter says it's the baggy tights that really does it.  The duct tape didn't help, or the boxing glove sized mittens , or the double hat layer. “

I couldn’t resist. I asked to use her photo and comments. 

Han continued,
“Sure, if you want to.  :-)  I continued running and cackling like a crazy person at the thought of myself.  The duct tape, being old, was flapping on my feet a bit but it still kept in the heat.

Well, I’ve seen the problem when duct tape starts flapping in the wind. Of course I’m pretty sure the donkey and horse in this corral probably back up to and hide the failing duct tape mend when the farmer comes to the corral. Did they unwind it for a ‘walk about’ plan?  

Kath who is looking for more duct tape stories. Will you send me yours? 

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Duct Tape II -Fashion Points Awards

Duct Tape II -Fashion Points Awards
28 June 2014

My father was a big believer in WD 40 and duct tape. He was right. Even if there were no designer duct tapes in his tool box. When I inherited a table from his family, I had no idea that his theory on duct tape had extended to furniture repair. Not until the mover delivering the table insisted I understand the movers did not break the leg. He pointed to the old duct tape securely holding the leg. 

I squandered money on a professional repair of the family antique, sans duct tape. Dad got points for secure repair, but unfortunately the plain gray tape got nothing for decorative effect. 

Points Awarded: Boots-5. . When my garden boots sprang a crack at the ankle, I fancied them up with camouflage duct tape and fixed the leak. Pretty good, huh?  

Duct Fashion Points: Leash-0. 
Rufus tried to eat his leash. He only made it through the outer braiding. The Prince Consort wrapped camouflage tape around the gnawed section. Had he found something in a red plaid, well, point value might have been 5 easily. 

While fashion points were 0, there are definitely utility points. As you can see the duct tape was an excellent repair option. The leash held, even though our hound was deadly intent on the raccoon who comes each morning to eat up the bird seed. 
This guy. 

Since Rufus did not break loose, and the raccoon is safe, the duct tape repair earns 10 points for effectiveness, if none for fashion. 

Kath who is wondering about fashion duct tape and facial wrinkle repair.